As a kid, I loved the gift giving time at Christmas. But looking back, I realize there was a rule in place which ensured the experience was fun; there was a monetary limit to what was spent on each person.
As I got older, I found expectations of selecting the perfect gift with some large monetary value was outside of my personal and financial abilities. I couldn’t afford the gifts desired. If I was able to afford a smaller gift and gave thought to selecting it, the gift was still tossed quickly in the corner.
Approaching the problem, I stated to family that I would like to ask we no longer exchange gifts. That was not well received, but I had given up on the process. When I looked deeply at my beliefs and the meaning of Christmas, I found that the stress and perplexity of the gift giving was not for me. So I stood by my ideals. I made goodies from family recipes instead, with the hope of bringing warmth to Christmas in that way. It was with love and kindness, I invested time in the kitchen.
Understanding what is important to you is honorable. You can always give the gift of love to others, in silence or openly. Knowing who you are, your values, will bring peace and ease the stress. Happiness does’t come in a package or box, or I should say, I have never found it there. Know that what you are doing isn’t done in a negative way, but out of a love for all concerned.
We could hope that by letting family know what you are doing and how you plan to do it, will be accepted. If not, go back to your positive emotions. Statements such as these might help: I am doing what I believe to be best for _____- fill in the blank (me, you, nature, environment). I love you and wish you the best in your activities.
After years of very little gift giving, I have found that I was on the right track. Relationships built on mutual love and respect thrived regardless of gifts. Relationships that had little foundation or mutual love, flatlined in the superficiality. Expensive gifts had never changed or solidified the relationship, it was just more empty frosting calories on an unhealthy cake.
For more ideas on Self-analysis and Life-analysis, you can find that in Chapter 19 of A Woman’s Guide: Cultivating Everyday Personal Magnificence.
Era Lewis 