I was recently reading The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes by Jack Bickham. One chapter in the book says you should never use real people in your fiction book, and he provides several reasons. One of those reasons struck a chord with me. It said fiction characters should be more understandable; real people are too often unfathomable, impossible to comprehend.
Isn’t that the truth.
If we find it hard to understand others, it really shouldn’t be so surprising given we often don’t understand ourselves. Therein lies a huge problem. We feel things but don’t apply enough reason to understand the cause of the feeling.
One method of reasoning I learned at a job was using the 5 Whys. It was often used for troubleshooting safety or production issues, but I realized it works for “troubleshooting” our own self too. Let’s try an example and see if it might be something you can use to better understand yourself and actions you need to take.
I become impatient and intolerant when people are more than 15 minutes late to meet me.
Why?
Well, I have many demands, so I hate sitting idle.
Why?
I am trying to take care of a farm on my own.
Why?
Because I believe it is important to “work” a farm when you own the land.
Why?
Because then I can give back to nature in important ways.
When I looked at this, I realized I could avoid uncomfortable situations with people if I explain to them that I am over-worked and therefore it is important to the operation of my farm that they are on time. I could then ask if they can be on time and what their latest arrival time will be. From there, I could calmly state that if they don’t arrive by that time, I will need to get back to work and will no longer be available.
Now I wonder how many frustrating events I could have avoided in the past.
I am going to try this and see how it goes. I will let you know.
The use of 5 Whys was written about in my book, A Woman’s Guide: Cultivating Everyday Personal Magnificence, under the topic of worry. In this case, the 5 Whys can help a person take action and avoid worry.
Perhaps you can try the 5 Whys too.
Era Lewis 